I am sitting on the floor in the bookstore looking at the most recent biology books when I notice a pair of tennis shoes right next to my legs.  I don’t know how long he has been standing there.  I follow his legs until I come to his hands.  My eyes freeze.  His hands have tattoos on them.  He is so close that I can smell him.  I stand up and feel really stupid because I am staring, all the way up his tattoo covered arms I am staring until I reach his t-shirt.  It’s snug.  My face turns hot and I look away.  I am the biggest nerd ever. 

When I turn back he is looking down at me. “Hi.” He says.  I lean over on the book shelf and almost lose my balance.  “Been sitting for a while?”

“Yeah.”  I catch myself because I almost just snorted.  “My legs fell asleep.” 

“Don’t usually see girls like you here.”  He says this sincerely.  I am not sure what he means.  He doesn’t look like he is joking.  I’m a nerd and I know it.  My friends tease me about it and the boys at school look at me like I crawled out of a swamp or something.   If a guy does look at me he’s usually a nerd too.  This guy is sexy and nothing like me.

He bends over and pulls out a book.  “Here.” He says.  “Have you read this one?”  I hadn’t.  “It’s one of my favorites on stem cell research.”  I take it from him.

“Thanks.”  I am surprised that he reads.  I wouldn’t think that he would have time for stuff like that.

“Sorry.”  He says.  “You must think I’m rude.”  He holds out his hand.   “My name is Jake.  I just moved to the area.” 

“Oh. Nice to meet you.”  I say my voice shaking and my face on fire.

“So you are not going to tell me.  Eh?”

“Huh?”

“Your name.”

“Oh yeah, Olivia.”

That is when she starts walking up.  She is thin except for her boobs.  She moves her hips in such a way that I am surprised she isn’t knocking books off of the shelves.  She’s graceful.  Yuck.

I stand there when I should move.  She is inches from my face, her breasts level with my nose.  Jake’s arm reaches around me to pull her to him.  For one split second I am sandwiched between the couple and I am all but invisible.  I jump out of the way.  She pushes her body to his while his hand, on her lower back, pulls her to him.  They kiss hard and long, then soft.  Am I staring?  Oh God.  I look away feeling my face go flush.  My body starts to sweat.  I turn around to leave.  I feel a tug on my shoulder.  “Olivia, meet my girlfriend.”  I turn around slowly.

She looks down at me.  “Oh her?”  Her lip curls up into a sneer.  Did he not just see that?  He is smiling like an idiot, his arm around her waist.  A moment ago his eyes seemed shiny, now they are all fogged up.  Is that drool coming out of his mouth?  Not really but there should be. His girlfriend goes to my school but if she knows who I am I will be surprised.

“Yeah I already know who she is.”  She says this then laughs and turns back around.  I grow hotter.  I turn around as fast as I can to leave. 

 “Ok, well.  Bye.” I say.  He waves, I think, or he could have been shooing a fly.  I am surprised by how I feel.  I mean I didn’t really think a guy like him would be interested in me.  Maybe I did get my hopes up a little.

I walk as fast as I can.  I run into a stationary table and knock several books from their perch.  I bend down to pick them up.  When I stand back up there is a gaggle of junior high boys on their way to the mall.  I wait for them to crack jokes but they are looking me up and down like they are pleased with what they see.  I want to scream.  “What? One minute I’m ugly and the next?”  I don’t get it. 

As I am leaving the store an older man walks by and makes no secret about looking me up and down like he would like to have me for dinner. 

Apparently I can get any creepy old man I want or junior high boys barely into puberty.  I look back on the bookstore, a little thrilled but mostly puzzled.